Monday, May 23, 2005

Some amusing quotes from the hospital

"Anybody seen Garden State? Natalie Portman plays a really cute epileptic girl in that. I like it when hot actresses play women with disability, because it's so easy to imagine taking advantage"
---during dinner on call

"I don't give a shit if that guy sues. I've never met a lawyer impervious to a .223 round"

"Give me 5.5lbs of uranium and some other stuff and I can fix this place quick"
---one night near the end of call

"Is this the fuckhead on withdrawal from cocaine? Oh, my bad, that's the other fuckhead. This guy's the alcohol withdrawal. Yeah, he's a real fuckhead too."
---overheard on the phone on a call from a nurse

1st voice: "Psych thinks this lady is psychotic but doesn't want her in the psych unit because they're too busy." 2nd voice: "That's fine, she can be crazy at the house. Send her home"

I swear none of these came from me personally.


Blogger richard said...

this is a great idea... please write more of these.

10:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My personal favorite is "Screw the babies."

6:19 PM  
Anonymous Tad said...

And here I thought all medical personal were filled with kindness and goodness?

1:24 PM  
Blogger Brian said...

You haven't tried to help any dedicated crackheads lately. ;)

5:31 PM  
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10:08 PM  

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